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Hace un tiempo escribí esto, y me gustaría que quede en algún lugar. Así que aquí lo dejo:

Sí, estoy desesperado por un poco de atención, asi que escribo esto. Es esa excusa o porque estoy aburrido. O porque soy un romántico, o soy un mujeriego y esta es mi hablada o... bah lo que sea.

The perfect girl, the perfect woman, the perfect partner. It's all very subjective. Blonde, brunette, redhead, big boobs, small boobs, big ass, skinny ass, slim, fat...

Well chaps, the truth is another. It's ugly and it's fucked up. Truth always is. A perfect woman is not described by facts and figures, it's more of a Boolean concept. Either yes or no. It's a list, a very complex detailed list. It's a, mind my geekyness, computer program.

For once, I'll talk about what I know. A computer program is a really big an detailed amount of yes/no questions. It's got a lot of fancy math stuff us programmers call algorithms to make ourselves feel smart. Why not just call it math stuff? Anyway... Let's program the perfect woman, shall we?

Let's begin then. First things first. A program is divided in three parts. The core, where all that fancy math happens, the visual thingy where all the buttons and arrows are, and the middle part. The glue that keeps it together. The core is the important part. Otherwise we'll be just programming a freaking eggshell. The visual interface (buttons, lighties and arrows) is basically just drag and drop. It can be changed at will and heck! a crackbaby could do it.

So hands down, we start on the core. Let's define it:

class perfect_woman

{

if eyesglimmer=t

Oh, wait. My bad, it's just bad habit. Let me try once again.

A perfect woman is just a set of instructions to be programmed. Be warned, only because they are yes/no questions, that does not mean it's easy to program.

Does her eyes seem to shine when you look at her?

Can she see through your bullshit?

Can she smile an make your day worthwhile?

Can she actually understand what is going on in that little monkey brain of yours?

Is she able to forgive the crap your little monkey brain makes her go through?

Is she able to go past her program bugs (for non nerds that's woman craziness) to understand that she actually means a lot more than your monkey brain let's you show?

Is she able to deploy bitch_mode_on when you monkey brain makes you act like a complete back birth?

Is she strong enough to be be a kid when she can and a grown up when she has to?

Can she hold her own against the world, but appreciates it when you try to be a monkey in shining armor?

Does she make the world spin faster after a kiss?

Can she make your monkey eyes see what you've been blinded to after a big fat while?

It's all about the smile. Really, program a good honest, spicy and spontaneous smile with a little drop of evil. And you have a winning smile.

Next comes the glue. What keeps the visuals pasted to the core. This one is a little trickier. It actually depends on the programmer. Programming it is always dirty work. A little sticky and its basically attaching strings from one end to the other without making them get tied up.

Here's what no one tells you. The beauty of of this is when strings DO get tied up. It's the beautiful chaos that appears whenever she is about to smile, to kick your ass at video games just because she wants to hang out with you, or simply when she notices you stare with your ugly monkey glance while she eats and smiles back at you. Again, it's all about the smile.

Then comes the easy part. The visual interface. The boobs, the ass, the hair, the curves, bla bla bla... Remember how I said this could be programmed by a crack baby? It's true. During my college time programming in teams, we fought each other to either do the interface and basically do nothing while everyone else had their monkey heads broken, or not get near that part to save our little monkey ego the shame. THE SHAME!!!

This is the least worthy part of a woman program, but it's the flashiest. And girls know so. It's the flashiest. So, here's the interesting part. They programmed themselves to reinvent this part of her programming. Talk about SciFi!

I found my perfect program. It's not a girl. It's THE girl. How about you?